Uncharted Territory: Feminine Hygiene
by weasleyismyking17
Summary: Why Hogwarts should have a Personal Growth class, or else poor Ron wouldn't be in this mess. Based on a true story.


**A/N: **This actually happened to me. I walked in on these older guys who had no idea what they were playing around with, and it was pretty much one of the most hilarious things I've encountered when it comes to sexual education. This one is for **sweet.summer.rain** and my friend** Kelly** (who doesn't have an account)because if we were stupid guys, I could see us doing this!

**Disclaimer**: insert witty reason why I don't own Harry Potter here

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Ever since Hermione moved in with Ron, strange girly things had begun to appear. Aside from the perfume and small amount of make-up that his girlfriend owned, a mysterious new item had invaded his manly space. Small absorbent cushions and rolled up material in small tubes were kept in a Tupperware box under the sink in their bathroom. He wasn't exactly sure what they were, only knew that they had something to do with women. It wasn't like he was stupid, because he most certainly _was not_, it was just that the Weasley women had had a separate bathroom than the men, and Ron really didn't care to meddle in the psychotic affairs of women. He chose to be ignorant and most occasions this had spared _him _awkward situation. But like I said, on only _most _occasions 

Today was not one of them.

Harry and Neville had come to visit Ron while Hermione was out shopping with Ginny and Luna. After a couple of rounds of Wizards Chess, a.k.a. Ron beating Harry so severely that had they been playing for money, Harry would be nearly bankrupt. They became bored rather quickly and started talking about the odd habits of their girlfriends, during which Ron brought up the peculiar items in the bathroom. Harry and Neville grew curious and asked if they could see the foreign items. Ron obliged and led them to the bathroom where he took the collection out of its protective plastic wear. His friends were just as befuddled as he was. They started testing the items in a manner resembling apes at the sign of an unknown object; banging them against the counter, sticking them in orifices, putting them on their bodies and such. So caught up in their fun, they failed to hear the front door open. Neville had stuck pads on each of his ears resulting in a floppy-eared dog look, while Harry and Ron shot the tampons at each other through the applicators. The strings of the tampons were tied along Harry's waist, giving the look of a deranged man in a white hula skirt. Just as Ron was placing two applicators in his mouth to be a "walrus", Hermione opened the door to the horrific sight.

"Wha? Wh-What are you doing?!' She cried, her cheeks lighting up. Harry and Neville scrambled up, desperately removing the products off their persons. Ron looked up at his girlfriend bashfully.

"Sorry 'Mione. We'll buy you more. We were bored and I guess we got a bit carried away with your...things." Ron explained. The next thing Hermione said was spoken in a hushed voice.

"Do...Do you even know what those are, Ron?" She asked. The boys merely shrugged. The lone woman let an embarrassed sigh escape before she explained what they had been playing with. As she told them Neville's face turned ashen, Harry looked at the floor shuffling his feet, as Ron's ears turned a fiery shade of red. When she was finished there was an awkward silence that never seemed to end. Harry and Neville departed, muttering their farewells. When they were finally gone, Hermione turned to face Ron.

"So..." She started uncomfortably.

"Yeah." Ron murmured.

"So." She began again," You really never learned that from your mum or dad?"

"No." Ron said, still having a staring contest with the floor. "I mean, they told us about the birds and the bees, but..." he trailed off.

"Never that." She finished for him. "There's really nothing to be embarrassed about, Ron." He merely grunted.

"Wow, you're really shook up about this aren't you, Ron?" There was a smile starting to form on her lips. His head shifted slightly in her direction but his eyes would still not meet hers.

"No!" He spoke almost angrily. Hermione held back a laugh: he was a terrible liar. Because even though Ron swore he wasn't scandalized, over a week had passed and he still had yet to make eye contact with her.

And this my children, is why men should never lurk in the uncharted territory of women.

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**Yes. I realize I am a freak. Reviews are love! And you love Frannie...right?...**


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